There is a lot of input on social rules for eye contact and there are profound gender differences and cultural differences. Your history and depth of understanding will deeply affect how you use eye contact for communication. It is huge. But it’s not just an external thing. Absolutely, people will read a message in my … [Read more…]
The myth of Pandora’s box always confused me. It made no sense. After all, Hope was in the box filled with all of the evils and ailments of men– famine, disease, death, jealousy, anger– and in order to get the benefit of Hope, it was kept in the box, not let out to infect the … [Read more…]
There will be some scientific details in what follows. Feel free to ignore it. Unless you are doing research, the background science is not important. The concepts are. And you know what? I’m not a scientist, so don’t take my word on anything. Again, like Maslow, this is a model, not a theory. Many models … [Read more…]
Fevers can come from a lot of different things. I was taught that sometimes it is simply the way your body kills viruses, or at least keeps them from reproducing. The fever is part of the process of healing. The virus is the problem, not the fever. The fever is not just a symptom, it … [Read more…]
I separate knowledge and belief. There are things you don’t know. There are things you can’t know. There is a vanishingly small number of things that any person truly knows. And there are a large number of things that we ‘know’ with varying levels of confidence. Most of the universe is composed of things I don’t know. … [Read more…]
People are always asking me about pre-attack indicators. Here is the #1 pre-attack indicator: YOU’RE BEING AN ASSHOLE! With that simple line, I figured out something that has been bothering me for years. Something that it took Conflict Communications (http://www.conflictcommunications.com ) to put into perspective. When it comes to violence, there has always been something … [Read more…]
Yes, I very specifically used the word ‘attacker’ in the title. That’s because when you strip away all the ideology, humanism and pseudo-sensitivity, certain people use being offended as a flat out act of aggression. First a list of foundational yada, yadas. Humans are social primates. We’re designed to function in groups. A big part … [Read more…]
Most people can’t fight ‘cold’. They need the emotional edge of fear or anger to get over the taboos involved in hurting people. Not everyone, but almost everyone. Even very experienced fighters, whether good guys or bad guys, want to be “in the zone” just like any other athlete. Part of being in the zone … [Read more…]
I’m going to try to integrate what Marc and I have been saying. It may be simpler than we thought. Three concepts first: The three stages of a fight; Fight-Flight-Freeze-Posture-Submit (FFFPS); and predatory versus social violence. Three Stages: Being on the receiving end of an unexpected attack you will go through three stages. The OC … [Read more…]
Let’s start with the fact that there’s a difference between fear management and danger management. I’m talking in extremes here, but it’s to communicate an idea. Let’s say you’re terrified of vampires. No amount of rational explanation that vampires don’t exist and aren’t a danger is going to help. That’s because ‘terror’ comes from a deeper … [Read more…]