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Conflict Manager

#MindesetMonday

#ControllingFear

"Watch this video with the sound off. The light hearted music takes away from appreciating the seriousness of the situation.

What the two people are doing in this video on a technical level could be accomplished by most physically fit people. But despite having the physical ability to perform these actions, most people would be unable to do so. Maybe these two have developed a high level of ability to manage their fear despite the obvious danger.

Or it could also be that their brains are wired differently from the rest of us and they literally don't feel the fear that other people do. This wiring difference could have been hardwired from birth or could it be the result of experience and constant exposure to heights.

Fear has the effect of stopping some people from doing certain things while others are not impeded. Varg Freeborn tallks about blocking negative images. Maybe the couple in the video are highly adept at blocking images of them falling to their death.

In terms of physical self-defense training, how much does the lack of real danger (say from a rubber knife) enable people to do what they wouldn't do or couldn't do in a truely dangerous situation?" - Erik K.

www.facebook.com/OfficialMonstah/videos/678922252309566/?hc_location=ufi
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Are you brave enough to climb this?! 😱😱😱 Via Flaviu Cernescu

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#MartialArtsMonday

ARTICLE SNEEK PEEK - RANDY KING

"Here in Edmonton, a local MMA fighter-turned-boxer just fought his last fight. Tim Hague, former King of the Cage heavyweight champ, and former Unified MMA heavyweight champ, died at the age of 34 a few days ago, due to injuries he sustained in the ring during a boxing match.

This is a pretty major event in the sports combat world. With rules and refs and ringside doctors, deaths happen very rarely - but they do happen. As usual, people from both sides of the fence are jumping in, blaming everything from the boxer who landed the fatal blows, to the referee, to the commission itself. So much blame is being thrown around, and none of it is constructive. There are so many safety precautions in place for major sport events like these - in order for something so grievous to happen, it was the result of not just one, but a cascading series of errors." - Randy King

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#InterspeciesConflict

An interesting example of getting your point across even if you lack the ability to talk. Erik K.
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100% success rate

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#SelfDefenseSaturday

#ItTakesMoreThanJustAwareness

COMMENTARY BY ERIK KONDO

This incident highlights a number of issues in regard to self-defense. Here are a few:

1. Many people will look at this video and talk about the need for awareness. In this case, awareness combined with action may have given the woman the ability to spin and face her attacker. But given the intent of the attacker and the apparent lack of physical self-defense skills of the victim, would awareness have changed the outcome?

2. Many criminals use an ambush to launch an attack. Physical self-defense training must take this tactic into account.

3. Given that cultural norms have conditioned women to ignore stranger men (for valid social reasons), it is not enough to just tell women to "be aware of their surroundings".

4. Based on how she talks in this interview, this woman seems to have responded with resilience to this attack. Hopefully, her strong attitude will help to reduce the negative consequences of the aftermath.

5. She is also very lucky (or was it intentional?) that her attacker used relatively ineffective means to cause damage. It seems he used repeated hand strikes as opposed to more effective methods such as smashing her head into the pavement. Does traditional WSD training address these two type of attacks?

What else? - Erik K.

CLICK THE LINK TO WATCH THE VIDEO
www.facebook.com/wmur9/videos/10154880663938717/?hc_location=ufi

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#ConflictMismanagement
#EmotionalBoundarySetting

What follows is commentary on this incident from Paul Gardner. I am posting his comment because Paul makes a number of points that are worth consideration. If you disagree with any aspect of his commentary, please feel fee to provide your opinion. - Erik K.
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"There's a lot wrong with this video on both sides.

First I'll address the veteran. When you've been to war and killed people, it's crazy coming back to a peaceful society again. Sometimes when your anger goes through the roof your first thought is violence. Because overseas violence solved all your problems and was highly effective.

Him saying "I'm a combat veteran" was basically another threat. It's essentially saying "I've fucking killed people for less, so show some fucking respect!"

Yes I know it's lame, but that's what it was.
He was 100% in the wrong and needs help. I won't make any assumptions about PTSD because I don't know him. He could just be an asshole and need anger management for all I know.
As for the driver and passenger..... Driver should have immediately apologized the second that raging dude came up to him. "My bad, you're right and I'm sorry." That will deconflict a LOT of situations Does it make you look like a bitch? Yup. But not nearly as much as getting slapped and hearing the dude talk down to your woman.

You only have 3 options when something like this happens: Fight the guy, deescalate, or drive away if at all possible. NEVER just stay there in the situation and make it worse like these two did.

ALSO, to the female passenger..... SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! Women for whatever reason sometimes refuse to stop talking and it only makes matter worse. For all they know, the dude had a gun and was willing to murder them both. When men are raging like that, hearing a woman talking shit aggravates them even more. Hell even I wanted to tape her mouth shut after she started talking shit.

Lastly, buy and handgun, learn to use it safely and effectively, and carry it every day. If this situation had kept getting worse, the driver may have wished he'd had the means to protect himself. Combat veteran or not, you never know what someone is willing to do to you for a simple road rage incident." - Paul Gardner

CLICK THE LINK TO WATCH THE VIDEO
www.facebook.com/PeeNut.net/videos/1429081040516268/
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#ConflictMisManagement

This incident is an example of how any conflict has the potential to spiral into larger scale unintended consequences.

While is it relatively easy to predict that kicking a car from a motorcyle is likely to result in the car driver retaliating in some manner. My guess is that neither participants foresaw what happened next.

I think this incident also brings up the related question of legal liability for the consequences, both civil and criminal.

Any takers on that issue? - Erik K.

#UnintendedConsequencesofConflict

h/t DP Friesen

Road rage triggers massive crash in California
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Apparent case of road rage triggers horrifying chain-reaction crash in Santa Clarita, California. At least one person was injured in the incident. abcn.ws/2t0b6fa

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#ThinkingThursday

THE UNIVERSAL LAW OF BENEFITS AND LIMITATIONS - ERIK KONDO

"All conflict management strategies, tactics, techniques, and teaching methodologies have inherent Benefits and Limitations.

1. The Benefits can only be fully maximized when the Limitations are known.
No matter how situationally effective any particular aspect of conflict management/self-defense is, regardless of whether it is actually used or is a training tool, at least one limitation to its use exist. Maximum effectiveness is only achieved by not encroaching upon this limitation(s). Therefore, knowledge of the boundary of the limitation is required to maximize it's intended effectiveness

2. The Limitations can only be fully minimized when the Benefits are known.
No matter how situationally ineffective any particular aspect of conflict management/self-defense is, regardless of whether it is actually used or is a training tool, at least one benefit to its use exist. Minimizing the limitation is only achieved by not encroaching upon this benefit(s). Therefore, knowledge of the boundary of the benefit is required to minimize it's undesired ineffectiveness." - Erik Kondo
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Agree, Disagree? Are there any examples where this law fails?

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#WeaponsWednesday

Here is a video that shows an effective use of environmental weapons for knife defense. Anything else?

h/t Stay Bladed Costa Rica
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A retired Canadian police officer is confronted with a knife while on the island of Gili Air, Indonesia. See how he uses his training to escape unharmed in this security camera footage.

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#WeaponsWednesday

What lesson(s) can be derived from this video from Ed Calderón?
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"Weapons are meant to be felt not seen." Ed

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#weaponswednesday

Part of good conflict management is having the proper tools at hand to do the job. That is where weapons fit in. This is just one example of things that can be carried and used.
As always, legalities vary, check your local laws, and be a good person.

#crgi #conflictresearchgroup #weaselcraft #edc #terrytrahan

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#TrainingTuesday

Here is Randy King with his latest video where he reviews some knife attack clips.
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#TrainingTuesday

IMPOSSIBLE - RORY MILLER

"Sometimes you get a request that is just flabbergasting. If that's a word.
"We want an unarmed defensive tactics system for our officers that works the same for all officers regardless of size, gender or age, that will work on all threats regardless of size, strength or mental state and has zero risk of injury to the offender."
"You realize that's impossible, right?"
"You don't have anything? We'll keep looking."

The latest. A request for comprehensive self-defense training but with absolutely no element of violence. This one is tempting. Not the material. As requested, it's simply stupid. It's the students. The people who want this do home visits on people who are in the system. Often alone, this student base has daily contact with a population that frequently have criminal records and a history of violence. These are kids (adults, but at a certain age, everybody starts to look like a kid) going into harm's way to do good things. If anyone needs a comprehensive program, these are the people.

Naively, I also used to believe that there was always a non-violent solution, but even then I realized there wasn't always time to find that solution. I was wrong. There are people who enjoy hurting others, and only force or the threat of force will stop them. Predators who can't feel closure without pain. Really bad guys who need to see someone break. People who honestly believe that acceding to a verbal solution is an act of cowardice.
" You boys have been real nice, but I guess now it's time to make you fuck me up." When I asked, "Why?" later the old man said, "If I went to jail and didn't fight, I wouldn't be a man." People satisfying needs with pain isn't limited to the BDSM world.

Realistically, the big gains in SD are in the non-violent soft skills. Recognizing and avoiding dangerous places and people. Recognizing when an individual is setting you up or weakening your position. Escape, evasion and de-escalation. Usually, by the time things go physical, it's pretty desperate. This isn't how to out-fight a fighter, but how to deal with a bigger, stronger threat who chose the time and place and conditions (weapon, numbers...)

This isn't a Disney movie. Things can go very bad. The belief that there is always a non-violent solution creates blindspots and vulnerabilities. If any belief is that precious to you, you will fail to recognize and respond to the exceptions. People don't train for things they don't believe in. It is a belief that makes one voluntarily both blind and unprepared.

You all know this. But some people don't get it. More accurately, they refuse to get it. Teaching the impossible isn't a new problem. It starts with education. Over the years, I've found a bag of tricks to get people to see. That's why I use Maslow, and where the distinction between aggressive, destructive (including self-destructive) and assaultive behavior comes in. Why we discuss ethics explicitly. Personal clarity between what people want and what people need.

Whoah. Damn. Rewind and erase. I just strawmanned all over myself. Shit. All the objections and blindspots I just talked about? Realizing... You don't see these in the field. EMTs, nurses, police, corrections, security, even the people manning the desk at the local VA-- every last one I've talked to has recognized the need for something truly comprehensive. They're usually the ones who contact me. The impossible demands have all come from desk pushers, people who write and protect policy. People who live in idealistic abstraction of the real world.

Unfortunately, they tend to be the ones who control what the line staff get.

Not to self: Remember not to confuse institutions with people." - Rory Miller

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#TrainingTuesday

Some straight talk from Richard Dimitri about what kind of training is needed to deal with knife attacks.
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