Seven Ways Women’s Self-Defense Teaches Men Not to Rape – Erik Kondo


Actually, the title should be Seven Ways Self-Defense Teaches Some People Not to Rape. But that title is not as appealing to those who consider all men to be potential rapists.

There are those people in the world that can be taught by appealing directly to their conscious intellect. The teacher makes a reasoned case for something using logical arguments and evidence and the student learns from what the teacher has to say.

There are others that learn from what other people say or do. They pickup upon other people’s examples, social norms and attitudes and learn from them.

But not everyone responds to these two types of teaching. There are those who learn mainly from trial and error. They learn from direct experience. In addition, this experiential learning has the effect of overriding prior intellectual and cultural based learning.

For example, you may observe someone else acting in a certain manner (groping a woman). But if you try it and receive a negative result (a punch in the nose), you will learn that it is not safe to do it. Conversely, you may have been told that certain actions are wrong (sexual assault). But, if you do them and receive no negative feedback, you will learn that it is safe to proceed with doing these wrong things.

In the case of experiential learning, teaching comes in the form of the direct feedback a person receives from his or her actions. A person that uses self-defense to enforce his or her boundaries of acceptable/unacceptable behavior is in fact teaching others what is and is not acceptable behavior in the most straight forward manner possible.

  1. Using methods of risk reduction teaches potential assailants that you are not willing to be victimized by unacceptable behaviors.
  2. Using deterrence and assertiveness to set personal boundaries teaches potential assailants that certain behaviors are unacceptable.
  3. Using physical means to enforce your boundaries teaches assailants that you will not submit to unacceptable behaviors.
  4. Using the aftermath of a violation to enforce your boundaries teaches the assailant that his or her violating actions will not be tolerated by you and will be punished by society.
  5. Spreading comprehensive self-defense knowledge to others who may be potential victims teaches assailants that more people in society will not tolerate their bad behaviors.
  6. Using self-defense methodologies to prevent, interrupt, and mitigate violations teaches assailants that they do not have the power to do whatever they want without consequence.
  7. Self-defense teaches assailants that targeted people are not helpless and vulnerable victims with no option but to depend upon the hope that all others will always respect their personal boundaries due to proper “education”.

So, I agree. Teach Some People Not to Rape Through the Use of Self-Defense.

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