We blame society, but we are society – Marc MacYoung


I think I just figured out what bothers me so much about people writing from the perspective of ‘_____ (fill in the blank)s are the victims of society.’ This especially when it comes to making statements about how they’re taught/raised/what society expects of them and the horrible burdens they must carry because of society.

First off these supposed standards are stock, factory recommended settings for minimum functionality. They are neither permanent, fixed or absolute. In fact, they are constantly evolving and changing.

The key word in the previous paragraph is minimum — as in minimum functionality. If you want more, you have to do the add ons, tweaks, additional apps and sometimes writing your own code. You must improve yourself and strive in the environment. In other words, Precious, ya gotta work.

Second, to be respected and valued by people, you have to be valuable and have traits that are respectable. Here’s a problem, ‘birds of a feather flock together’ For example, if you are selfish, impulsive and lazy the only type of people who will tolerate that behavior are the same that expect you to tolerate it from them. So one of many elephants in the room is what are the traits of the people who are making the most noise about how society treats them?

Third except for the seriously fucked up, generally people don’t care if you’re _____ (fill in the blank). They care if you’re an asshole. Add in a unreliable, selfish, troublemaking, self-righteous, aggressive hater who doesn’t give a shit about anybody but yourself. The problem with the cry of ‘you hate me because I’m ____ (fill in the blank) is too many people are too polite to answer honestly. “No I don’t like you because you’re too much a pain in the ass to have around.” If you’re good and high quality to good and high quality people that tends to outweigh other factors in how you’re treated. Actually being a good person is way more important in how you’re treated than the fact that you’re _____ (fill in the blank).

There are people out there who refuse to even meet the minimum standards. Truth is they are way more numerous than those who can’t. But I’m seeing a new breed out there. These are folks who are trying to sell the idea that the minimum standards are too high, too unrealistic, too oppressive and that a person should have the ‘right’ to ________ (fill in the blank). I’ll add secondary messages. 1) That they have no responsibility to do any extra work 2) They have no responsibility to society (much less you). 3) That society has to do all the work and let them do what they please — because society’s standards are too high.

I think it’s time to call bullshit on this ‘the standards of society are too high and unrealistic’ because that’s as unrealistic as what they’re claiming is oppressing them.


Commentary by Erik Kondo

A person feels disrespected in his or her life. He or she identifies with a certain race, gender, religion, etc and decides that his or her lack of respect comes as direct result of his or her identified group as opposed to being a personal issue. Thus, his or her lack of respect is now Society’s problem.

He or she feels vindicated, she is not at fault, Society is to blame for her being disrespected/oppressed.

He now becomes an Advocate and joins with others who also feel disrespected. They create a Movement with the stated goal to create respect for said Group.

The irony is that what do people who can’t get respect in their personal lives actually know about getting all people in Society to respect said Group?

Mostly, they use the same methods of focusing on blame, unfairness, oppression, and victimhood. They think they can complain their way to Societal respect.

For the Advocates to develop respect for their Group, they first need to learn how to create respect for themselves. They need to stop focusing on blame, unfairness, oppression, and victimhood. AND start focusing on those qualities that do create respect in Society such as truth, integrity, resilience, determination, and strength in the face of adversity.

Leave a Reply