Recently contacted by an acquaintance about how to attract and retain women to a self-defense studio. His assertion was that the women who left wanted it to be fun, but self-defense was a grim subject, inherently un-fun. Maybe. But humans are mammals, and all mammals learn best through play. And the math of self-defense training … [Read more…]
Here’s an example of what we think we know: Weak and fearful body language attracts predators. It’s a green light to them. That concept is a staple of self-defense training. It makes sense, too. Be afraid and look like a victim, and you’ll be selected. So now you know how not to be selected … [Read more…]
The Progressive Fence is a model for understanding how to communicate and enforce limits on unwanted behavior during interpersonal conflicts and confrontations. It all starts with the Visual Fence of body language. We can talk about the importance of walking with purpose, being alert and aware of our surroundings, and projecting confidence. But that is … [Read more…]
It’s in your nature to fight. It is in your nature to be strong. It is in your nature not to be a victim. We are the products of 4 billion years of bloody evolution, where the victims were eaten. Everyone dies, we aren’t immortal, but we don’t die easily. Not naturally. Fighting, self-defense, whatever … [Read more…]
PART I Keep It Simple and Straightforward with Progressive Boundary Setting Street harassment is a complex issue. Solutions to complex issues require a means to help conceptualize and convey them. Societies are based upon rules a/k/a boundaries that limit unwanted behaviors. These rules must be COMMUNICATED. If the rules are not RESPECTED, then they must … [Read more…]
PLEASE READ THE ARTICLE FIRST: http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/05/13/i-was-groped-on-the-subway/?smid=fb-nytimes&WT.z_sma=OP_IWG_20130513 The previous story is worthwhile for commentary because it is a fairly common example that illustrates a number of important concepts. The 1ST important concept to grasp is that the primary reason the woman doesn’t respond to the man is due to FEAR OF NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES of her taking action. There … [Read more…]
This will be a rehash of some things I’ve said before. Hmmmmm. Maybe I’ll just make a post with a list of all the things I say too much and then quit writing? Naaaaah. New questions come up all the time. Making certain people proficient at violence is simple. Not easy, but simple. The physical … [Read more…]
Learning fighting (whether in the guise of self-defense or martial arts or combatives)* isn’t that hard. It’s natural. It is something your ancestors have done, largely without any training, since before there were people or even fish. Often training is not about how to do things or learning more techniques. It is about finding the … [Read more…]
The idea is simple. If you are in danger of dying—starving, thirsty, sick or about to be killed and eaten– that is your highest priority. Until you have taken care of your immediate survival needs you don’t give a damn, and you don’t waste resources, on anything else. Once your immediate physical needs are taken care of, you can … [Read more…]
I’m going to explore some of the different mindsets of violence. In addition to the social classifications, there are three asocial types that I want to hit: the severely disturbed; those in great need; and those who enjoy acts of violence. These mindsets are important to understand. They are not like the way that most … [Read more…]