I use Maslow’s pyramid in a lot of my books and classes. Not because it’s great science, there are holes in it you can drive a truck through. I use it partially because it has great predictive power, but mostly because it is so common and universally accepted (which is not the same as ‘understood’) … [Read more…]
I’ve used the term in writing and, judging from e-mail, haven’t ever adequately defined what I mean. If you’ve been victimized before, are you a victim personality? Victimized twice? Thrice? Ten times? Maybe. Maybe not. There are victim characteristics that all predators (and all aware humans) know. Distracted. Awkward in their physicality. Pleasers. People so … [Read more…]
One of the things that makes communication difficult and some problems hard to solve is that very different things can be the same thing. I wrote about DV as an example of taxonomies some time ago. Antisocial Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder are both different, but they get to the same place, seeing people … [Read more…]
I have dealt with crime and violence all my life. I’ve looked into the eyes of evil and I’ve looked into the eyes of people who — between environment and life choices — knew of no other way. Either one will kill you if you don’t have your shit wired tight. Even if you’ve ‘done … [Read more…]
Or so we’re told. For the moment we’ll overlook the glaring hypocrisy of that statement (Hint, it’s in the judgmental angle of ‘wrong’ to judge…) However, being lectured about (or beat over the head with that soundbite, if you will) with ‘how wrong and judgmental you are being’ has become a common tactic to shut … [Read more…]
Why hit somone? Four Categories to consider. Here are four categories for why someone intentially hits someone else: 1. To Force the person to do or not do something. 2. To create Fear in order to itimidate the person to do or not do something. 3. As a form of Enforcement for a rule violation. (Punishment … [Read more…]
There were things that used to be taught/enforced/assumed/demanded by circumstances. We’ve moved away from them without understandinga) why they’re important orb) how they affect our attitudes.For example, I didn’t watch Deadwood when it was first airing. Years later when it came onto Netflix I did a marathon. One scene that particularly stands out in my … [Read more…]
It’s a simple statement: Between stimulus and reaction there is a gap. Ordinarily we blow past this so fast on our way to our habitual response we don’t even recognize it’s there. Controlling that gap and allowing yourself other reactions than the habitual ones is freedom and power. So Mind the Gap. So I say … [Read more…]
The following is an excerpt from In the Name of Self-Defense. If you aren’t careful that aggressive and threatening person can be you. I tell you this because of what I call the Monkey Slide. And this is not uncommon after people have taken Conflict Communications training. Fresh and ready, they’re aware of their monkey … [Read more…]
There are countless videos from knife defense experts that show how people to defend from a knife attack. A subset of these videos show the use of simultaneous blocks and counters – one hand/arms does the block while the other hand/arm does the counter-attack. There is no doubt to the impressiveness and efficiency of these … [Read more…]