“When I was very young, I remember my grandparents had an older gentleman friend come by the camp one afternoon. Maybe it was me, but I felt creeped out by the guy. When it was time for him to leave, my grandparents told me to give him a hug. I didn’t want to. My grandparents … [Read more…]
I’ve described boundary setting in both ConCom and Scaling Force, but I was recently informed that I haven’t written it down quite the way I teach it. So here goes. Setting a boundary is not a negotiation or a conversation. It is a very different communication mode than most people ever use. This is why most people find … [Read more…]
The recent incident of a passenger being forcibly removed from an airplane has created a firestorm of traditional and social media commentary. There has been lots of talk of passenger rights, laws, contracts, corporate profits, corporate responsibility, the use of force continuum, and more. What most people don’t seem to realize that this incident is … [Read more…]
Got to watch an interesting specimen. In retrospect, I’ve seen them before, quite a lot actually. But this one was blatant enough to draw attention. Attention brings analysis. Have to unpack the language here, and talk about a couple of categories and some background concepts. Creepers are low-level sexual predators. The kind that harass and … [Read more…]
Boundary setting is a problem solving strategy that enables people to deal with and differentiate between awkward, rude, and dangerous people and situations. As people with disabilities, we are subject to boundary intrusions on a regular basis that stem from other people’s negative implicit bias regarding both our competence and vulnerability. Due to this bias, … [Read more…]
Boundaries … some are very real and tangible, like the fence that runs along your property. Others are inside you, determining what you do, what you don’t do and what you will tolerate others doing to you. What are boundaries? A great deal has been said about people who have no boundaries and cannot … [Read more…]
I hear it all the time. I see it all the time. In general, many women seem to think that if they use assertiveness for boundary setting they will be seen as being either a “bitch” or a “feminazi”. Are they right? Yes and no. There are powerful forces in society that directly benefit … [Read more…]
When it comes to Boundary Setting, most people only think of the Tip of the Iceberg. They see Boundary Setting as merely maintaining your personal space. But Boundary Setting goes much deeper than that. It is the foundation of civilization. It is an essential component of all human interactions and relationships.
Nothing is certain in life except for death, taxes, and boundary setting. Most human interpersonal and societal relationships are based on some variation boundary setting. So unless you are a lifelong hermet, you have been using boundary setting since early childhood. While boundary setting is a natural action that people do in various ways. Effective … [Read more…]
First things first. There is NO one, right answer. Nor is there a single answer that covers everything. Pretty much everything is on a sliding scale and depending on circumstances (I liken the idea to a slide rule, different factors, when aligned give different answers.)Second, I can tell you the American example I use to … [Read more…]