Contempt is a form of lack of respect. In terms of interpersonal relationships, it describes an aspect of how a person feels about someone else. It also can describe how someone feels about something inanimate such as an institution, rule, or law. The key point here is that contempt is an emotion. It is not … [Read more…]
I hear it all the time. I see it all the time. In general, many women seem to think that if they use assertiveness for boundary setting they will be seen as being either a “bitch” or a “feminazi”. Are they right? Yes and no. There are powerful forces in society that directly benefit … [Read more…]
All Self-Defense Methodologies are essentially Problem Solving Systems whose desired solution is to deprive an aggressor of his or her Intent and/or Means and/or Opportunity to do harm with in a framework of legal considerations and consequences. The “problem” is “solved” when one or more of Intent, Means, Opportunity has been eliminated. The viewpoint of … [Read more…]
Rory Writes: This was just going to be an example for the last article on reframing, but it grew into an article of it’s own. One aspect of self-defense that is rarely addressed are low level predators and creeping victimizations. The low-level predators are the ones who keep their victims uncomfortable, but never cross … [Read more…]
There is an old Firesign Theater album titled “Everything You Know is Wrong.” There’s also a John Wannamaker quote “Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I just don’t know which half.” We can blend the two to get a “Half of what you think you know about rape … [Read more…]
There are seven primary ways of Conflict Management. They are Change Others, By-Proxy, Avoidance, Negotiation, Deterrence, By-Force, and Mitigation. There are seven primary ways of Conflict Mis-management. They are Change Others, By-Proxy, Avoidance, Negotiation, Deterrence, By-Force, and Mitigation. Yes, the methods of conflict management can also be the methods of conflict mis-management and vice-versa. What works in one … [Read more…]
There is a behavior I call “circle straddling’ (although as you’ll see, “line waddling” works too.) Think of a circle of socially acceptable behaviors. Inside that circle social convention keeps you safe. For example, if you don’t say certain things (follow social ‘rules’), you won’t get hit, stabbed or shot (more social rules). Here’s a … [Read more…]
Recent events in American politics makes it clear that there is a disease spreading across the nation, There is a school of thought that considers violence to be a disease. The basic premise is that violence is contagious . The theory is that violence begets violence. The Cycle of Violence where victims of violence … [Read more…]
We have a dear friend named Peyton Quinn. He runs the Rocky Mountain Combat Application Training and is one of the pioneers of Adrenal Stress training. Peyton is a curmudgeonly genius who lives in the wilds of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. As we each approach the subject differently, we’ve had many a long conversations … [Read more…]
Human life has been and always will be filled interpersonal conflict. These conflicts range from mild disagreements to murder. Conflicts are the natural result of people have opposing interests. When it comes to handling interpersonal conflict, everyone has a “way” (strategy/methodology) of dealing with it. In fact, everyone has their own unique way. These many … [Read more…]